I thought you loved me
by RealizeHerPast
Summary: Depressing story... I suck at summaries. Just read it if you want too. Rated T for now. - Drugs, alcohol abuse, physical abuse, gore, etc. Warning you now.
1. Chapter 1

**_A/N - New story. It's gonna be kinda depressing... Sorry. Review if you want me to continue._**

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><p><strong><strong>"_I'm just.. Not ready for a relationship." he lied through his teeth over the phone. "O-Oh." I stuttered quietly knowing I just lost the one thing I thought I loved._

"_I'm sorry.." he mumbled before hanging up on me. I tried so hard to fight back tears. But I just couldn't stop them. I ran across the street, through the backyards and pounded on my best friends window._

"_What the hell, Clare?" _

"_He hates me!" I broke down and started telling her everything that happened between my boyfrien- ex boyfriend and I._

"_I'm so sorry Clare." Alli, the one person I could trust, hugged me._

"_No it won't. I'll NEVER forget him Alli. Never." I cried softly but finally stopped after hours of my tears hitting the floor of Alli's bedroom._

_He never actually loved me._

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><p>"Clare are you okay?" Alli asked as we entered through the doors of Degrassi. "I'm fine." i replied softly.<p>

But i wasn't.

I knew that in a few seconds, my day would be ruined and I'd have to cry myself to sleep tonight. As was every night. A usual day.

And sure enough, i was right.

"Oh look who's coming down the hall. The school SLUT." Elijah Goldsworthy, the guy i thought loved me, sang as he passed us, circling me just to glare at me.

"Get out of here, _WHORE." _he growled when he got me to look him in the eye.

His amazing deep green eyes held nothing but anger and annoyance towards me.

I nodded silently and tried to walk around him, but he had a different idea.

I was slammed up against the nearest locker and my books were thrown down the hallway.

Laughter filled the long stretched dull hallway.

"Look at the loser!" Drew, one of Eli's best friend's laughed at me.

Eli joined in the laughing and him and his 'posse' strutted down the hallway and around the corner, finally out of sight.

I looked down and Alli came to my rescue with my books, grabbing my hand and helping me up.

"I'm so sorry Clare.." she started but i cut her off.

"It's not the worst he's done. Just leave it."

On the inside i just wanted to die.

My heart has been ripped out and stabbed enough. Can't i just leave all of this?

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><p>The day went by quicker then i thought. I didn't have any contact with Eli for the rest of the day.. Until the English.<p>

Eli strutted in 10 minutes late, with Jenna Middleton, the ACTUAL school whore, trailing behind him.

He had his usual smirk plastered on his face and Jenna looked at him lustfully.

"Mr. Goldsworthy, Mrs. Middelton. You are late." Mrs. Dawes declared.

"So i am. What are you gonna do about it?" Eli sneered, as he passed me, giving my shoulder a rough shove before sliding into the seat in front of me. 

Mrs. Dawes raised one of her light brown thin eyebrows at him and snorted.

"Detention for 2 weeks Goldsworthy. Mrs. Middelton, 1 week._" _she stomped back to her desk.

The whole class errupted in giggles and Eli glared at them.

The teacher smiled and started the lesson but not before Eli managed to turn around and smack my arm.

"Ow.." i looked down trying to fight back more tears.

I just wanted to get out of here.

Dead or Alive.

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><p><em><strong>So... What'd you think? I need atleast 10 reviews to continue the story.<strong>  
><em>


	2. Chapter 2

"CLARE!" Helen, Clare's mean, non-caring mother screamed from the kitchen.

Clare hesitantly walked out of her room and into the kitchen. Helen glared at Clare while lifting up a piece of paper. Clare's math test from 2 days ago.

Clare swallowed hard when she saw the red 'B' on the paper.

In the Edwards house, it was always required that you got an 'A' or higher. Or else you were dead.

"What is _THIS?" _Helen growled, while pointing to the 'B'.

"A.. B.." Clare whispered. Helen narrowed her eyes before taking a step closer and slapping Clare's pale, porcelain cheek.

Clare looked down, fighting back the tears while her delicate hand came up to rub her cheek.

"Go to your room." Helen snapped, still glaring at her daughter. Clare nodded silently, turning on her heels and rushing to her room. Once in, she closed and locked her door, walking over to her desk.

She opened her drawer and pulled out the box of matches she always kept. She took one out and lit it on the box. After a few seconds she blew it out, and brought it down to her pale wrist.

She dug it into her skin and dragged it across her arm. She winced slightly at the sudden burning on her skin but smiled. It felt good. Burning her arm was her only escape.

It made her feel alive. When she somehow knew she wasn't.

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><p><strong><em>The Next Day<em>**

"Are you ready for school?" Alli asked, strutting into Clare's room.

"Almost." Clare mumbled, slipping her Degrassi sweatshirt over her head and grabbing her black bag.

"Good." Alli smiled softly and took Clare's hand, dragging her out of her room and out of the house.

Clare was glad she put on a lot of makeup to cover up the bruise her mom left on her cheek.

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><p>"Oh Claaaaare..." A too familiar voice sang.<p>

"What." I mumbled, my heart racing for some strange reason.

"Don't give me attitude, bitch." Eli snapped and shoved my shoulder into the neighboring locker.

I winced because of the bruise already on my shoulder blade, but looked down, avoiding eye contact with him.

"Aw. Little Clare doesn't want to look me in the eye." Eli mocked. I looked up slightly to see him laughing and high-fiving his laughing friends. I sighed and turned a little to close my locker. As soon as i close it, both of my wrists were grabbed and shoved against the lockers.

The next thing i knew, Eli's lips were on mine. I squirmed and pushed him away, only to see him smirking at me.

My heart hurt and my stomach felt bad.

I quickly got out of his grip and ran down the hall.

Away from them.


End file.
